I just got the news that my father had a stroke earlier today. He’s in intensive care, and I’m not quite sure how to deal with the news yet. I really care about him and love him very much, but he’s never really been there for me when I was younger. My parents were divorced when I was way too young to remember and after YEARS of searching, I finally managed to get a number for him. I then called him up and the very first thing he asked me was: “So how is your sister?”
My sister has always been the apple of his eye. She got the gifts and the money while I got the IOUs and the apologies. I was the boy who—on his 10th birthday—spent the entire afternoon and evening waiting on the front porch; excited about his daddy coming to pick him up for dinner, only to end up crying himself to sleep. It stings every time he responds to my sister’s Facebook wall posts, but not mine.
Still, I really do love him dearly.
He never abused me or anything… he just wasn’t there. I guess I coped with it by using writing as an outlet. You will notice father/son themes sprinkled through almost all of my books. At the moment you’ll only have access to two of my stories: Love and a .38 and The Son of Perdition. In Love and a .38, the father/son theme is subtle, but it’s there and ties up at the end. In The Son of Perdition, the struggle between Timothy and his father was most probably my sub conscious dealing with my own inner issues. When The Incubus and The Succubus go up, you will see it there too. I don’t plan it on purpose… but I do recognize it when it weaves itself into my words.
He is currently going through a very messy divorce, which stripped him of almost every single thing he owned and all his money. Without a medical aid, this stroke thing might become an expensive business with regards to hospital bills and medication and whatnots. The only way I can help out from my side is by donating the little money I make through my books to cover his expenses.
And I’ll gladly do it. Because I love him and know that deep down, in his own special way, he loves me too…